November’s Battle of the Decorations

His vs. Hers: When should the holiday decorations go up?

HERS: AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
Tis the season…to get your act together and hang those holiday lights, throw out the dying pumpkins, and spring right into the upcoming holidays. It is already November 19th.  The grocery store has been playing holiday songs for 19 whole days. That means just one short month until the winter festivities begin. My big, strong, man, if you aren’t feeling like hanging lights now, when it’s 70 whole degrees, imagine how freezing you’ll be on December 23rd, if we follow YOUR proposed schedule.

By December all the good trees are gone anyway. If I have to cook the pies, locate-gut-n-cook a turkey, and entertain family members, I think the least you can do is throw a simple wreath on the door. You spend enough time in front of the TV to notice that the commercials are telling you it’s time to decorate, time to celebrate. If you’re going to hang out in the living room all weekend, you might as well make it look good.

Consider this my polite request for your help. And no, this time “I got it” will not buy you another week. Hop to it Santa.

PS. If you want to save yourself another one of these witty online fights come January, plan on taking that wreath back down before Valentines Day. Dear.

HIS: THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE.
Just because Warm 98 and Kroger are jumping the gun does not mean I have to partake in this obnoxious outburst of premature celebration, even if you want to base your calendar around it.  Last I checked, I have a whole month to hang anything you want…right after I get done carving that turkey you’re whining about. And let’s be clear, the only reason you know Kroger’s is playing that music is because you couldn’t help singing along while you waited for your pre-made Thanksgiving dinner-in-a-box receipt. Don’t lie.

Gobble Gobble Gobble. Ho Ho Ho. I’ll get there when I’m good and ready to do so.