In-car storage space is at a premium these days. With so many of us virtually living out of our cars, the glove box is like a to-go closet. Just like closets, people have different theories about the best way to fill this small one-foot space located in front of the passenger seat. Gloves are no longer the only answer to the “What’s in Your Glove Box?” question. Pop yours open—carefully—today and see which kind of glove boxer you are. How you use your glove box can say a lot about you…
The Survival Kit
If your glove box contains: Window breaking device, tire pressure gage, jumper cables, emergency toolkit, water bottle, granola bar (or other survival food), poncho, flashlight.
The “Survivor” is ready for anything—and has maybe watched too many episodes of “Man vs. Wild,” or “I Almost Died,” if that’s a show. The survivor is also most likely to survive their van plummeting into the Ohio River (should the bridge ever break), or to live for weeks in an off-road snow bank in the Alaskan Wilderness. Props to you, Bear Grylls wanna-be.
The Collector’s Box
If your glove box contains: Not one–but six–pairs of gloves, 14 burnt CDs, 27 Wendy’s napkins, three straws, some ketchup packets, receipts for everything you’ve purchased dating back to 2007, seven hair ties.
The Collector—err—hoarder? may benefit from a trip to the gas station industrial sized trash can. I’m not saying these things aren’t valuable, but sometimes, you just have to let go. On the other hand, we should give the collector credit for…collecting valuable items that may or may not ever be needed. You may have to return a pillow from 2008, I guess, after all.
The Filing Cabinet
If your glove box contains: Medical files, bank statements, car manual and service reports, license/registrations (for the last five years).
I get it—why buy a filing cabinet when you have one built into your vehicle. Bonus points for the locking glove boxer. You wouldn’t want your medical files stolen, would you? This person is organized in every facet in life, and doesn’t clutter up crucial space with things like ketchup and hand lotion. On the other hand, when are you filing? Surely, not while you are driving. Surely.
The Bathroom Closet Away from Home
If your glove box contains: Deodorant, baby wipes, q-tips, a roll of toilet paper (camping?), three spare lipsticks, lotion, sanitizer, hair curlers/brush, hairspray, bug spray, any other spray.
This glove box owner knows what it means to look good, and never wants to be without the necessary tools to do so. You have to admire their level of preparation—we have all forgotten deodorant and realized it 30 minutes into the work commute. Two problems. This type of glove boxer MUST also have a makeshift trashcan on hand in their car for used products like q-tips and floss (ew). Also, doesn’t this stuff expire in Cincinnati’s 95-degree summers? Melted lotion=a major trip to the car wash. Clean out often and refurbish your stock, bathroom closet glove boxers.